Inevitably, you will reach a point in your journey when you will feel like for every step forward you are taking two back. Old habits will try to rear their ugly heads, and you will be assailed by old triggers. Perhaps an old acquaintance will reappear in your life and attempt to lead you back to your old ways. Maybe you have just hit a hard spot, and you feel yourself slipping back into your previous coping mechanisms.
Some days it will be hard to power through.
You are not alone.
It is hard to keep moving forward when you feel like you’re going nowhere. I know. After having a near panic attack at the local Aldi this past Sunday, I found it difficult to pull myself back out of the funk.
I told myself I was beyond that.
It turns out, I wasn’t. It took me an entire day to push through the depression of thinking that I was right back in the same place I where began. It was another half a day before I realized that I wasn’t. It was only my fear that made me believe that. Today’s blog post was especially hard for me to commit to writing. The funny thing is that commit turned out to be the most important word that could have been created to go in that sentence.
I felt like I had to force myself to sit here agonizing over each and every keystroke, but I did it. I knew that because I made a commitment that I needed to keep it or I would risk slipping right back into my procrastination and continue to stagnate in my previous unhealthy habits, but the entire point was that I didn’t want to be that way. I wanted to be different, but thought for just a moment that because of a single setback that nothing had changed and I was achieving nothing.
Then it came to me. How can I think to encourage people to really believe that they can accomplish anything they set their mind to; that they are strong and competent and can take over the world, if I never show that I am on the same journey? I have anxiety. I suffer from agoraphobia. I can barely stand to have another person touch me because it makes my skin crawl.
I am getting better.
Each one of us has our own struggle. We can each of us work to get to where we would like to be. We are strong; we are beautiful. We can do this!