The Hard Choices

brick wall

The most difficult step that anyone can take is to admit that a person that you love may never change bad or self-destructive behavior.  It is not an uncommon issue.  Your spouse or family member continues to (insert bad habit here), and you can no longer justify or excuse their actions.  The problem could be that they drink, do drugs, remain in a dead-end job, refuse to further their education, are abusive.  It may even be that they pick their nose and scratch their behind in public.  Either way, while you are working on bettering yourself, they are refusing to step up to the plate with their own changes.


As you move further along your own journey of self-realization, you will not only expect more from yourself, but also those around you.  After all, why should you not?  You now know that you are quality people and so you will want to be associated with those on your own level.

You are taking the steps; you are getting better every day and streamlining your life to make room to reach for the dreams that you now know that you absolutely can accomplish.  You are working hard, and people who work hard do not want to spend time with those who are not, even if it is only because you don’t want to be dragged back down to the point at which you began.


There is no shame in this!


It is completely natural to hope that the ones that you love will take this journey with you, especially when you are feeling energetic and excited with your progress.  So, what do you do when they choose to stay the same?

There are several choices you must make.


First, you must realize that every single person is entitled to make their own choices in their lives. It is perfectly acceptable to ask them if they would like your help, but be aware that if they decline, it is their choice and you should allow them to make it.

After having spoken to them, what should you do if they say “no, thank you?”

You could continue to do the same thing that you have done perhaps hundreds of times before.  You could ignore the bottles and the needles, use makeup to cover the bruises, take on the task of being the main supporter of the family, and subtly edge away from them in public while pretending that you have no idea who they are.


The truth is that as you improve yourself, covering for the non-improvement of those closest to you becomes completely impossible.

So what responses are left to you?

Short of condemning yourself to a lifetime of hanging out near a river in Egypt (denial, anyone?) or living a life of strife and stress because you are trying to force the person to change (This approach almost never works.  People can be amazingly stubborn.) you must learn when it is best to walk away and leave them to their consequences.

Does this mean that you must cut them completely out of your life?

It may, but not necessarily.  It will all boil down to what is best for you.  You must make the decision as to whether or not you can tolerate the actions and attitudes of this person.  Carefully consider the pros and cons.


Then choose and stick to it!


If you have made the choice to cut this person from your life, then you have surely had a good reason.  Unless they change that reason still exists.  Believe in yourself and your choices.


You are beautiful.  Go forth and be awesome!




~Rochelle Renee

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Rochelle Renee

Hi! I'm Rochelle Renee, and I am a self improvement enthusiast! I have just recently decided to start my own journey of self-realization, and I hope that I can inspire other people to believe that they are capable of achieving anything that they set their mind to.

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