Before we jump into today’s topic, I would like to apologize to all my readers for having missed a couple of last week’s scheduled posts. Last Tuesday I had a bit of an accident in the kitchen while pouring water out of the big pot, and I rather badly burned both my hands. Fortunately, all the swelling and most of the redness is gone now, so I am back with bells on!
It was tempting for me to make today’s topic about being careful or paying attention to where exactly your water is pouring, but I have resisted temptation and have settled on talking a little about compromises in relationships.
I would imagine that most of us can agree that a certain amount of concession in a relationship is important to mutual harmony and happiness. No two people ever agree on everything. Some people can agree on exactly nothing, and there is constant strife.
Naturally, most people wish for peace in their lives. They may even feel like giving in on one or two small things is perfectly acceptable, but what about when those issues aren’t so small anymore? Where is the line that you should not cross? How do you know if you are compromising too much or too little?
Ask yourself if you feel like you are losing or have lost who you are in pursuit of this relationship.
If your answer is no, but there are still arguments happening, perhaps you should ask the others in your relationship circle if they feel like they are being forced to over compromise. Engage in discourse from there, because there is obviously an issue which needs to be addressed.
If your answer is yes, then communicate your feelings to your partner(s) and attempt to come to a reasonable accord. Perhaps they didn’t realize that you felt this way. Were you sharing your feelings? Those unaware of your thoughts on a subject cannot respond to them. So perhaps more in-depth conversations are needed to address the problem.
When you have shared your feelings, and your partner(s) have communicated theirs, and everyone understands the issue, concessions should be made. If regulations for the circumstances were laid out previously and only one party is following those rules, there is again a problem, and the issue needs to be revisited.
The thing to remember is that no one single person is required to be the one always giving in. If you are being forced or forcing someone else to bend on an issue that is unbreakable for the person expected to change, you/they must decide if the relationship can be restructured or repaired.
Respect in any relationship is mandatory, not just suggested. If there is no respect, there is no relationship.
If it cannot be changed, then it must be stopped. You should never give up your entire self for anyone else. You should never feel that you must change your religion, your body, your beliefs, or anything else that you just don’t want to change in order to make someone else happy. If they cannot accept you for who and what you are, perhaps they are simply not right for you.
And that’s OK.
Everyone is entitled to make mistakes. No one should ever be made to feel like less than what they are as a person because of those mistakes.
If you do end up breaking off a relationship whether personal or professional in order to preserve yourself, remember that there is a person or place out there for you. You just need to find it, and while you are searching, remember that you are beautiful; you are amazing. You can do this!